You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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