You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
