ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
