she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize