9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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