she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
