I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
