there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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