I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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