your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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