Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
this just has baby written all over it
either way he was missing a nipple.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
