This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
3 2 1 whiskey
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
