Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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