Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
A+ Viking dick
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
