just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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