cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
