Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
