he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
