how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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