you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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