That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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