Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
