just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
