My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize