NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize