I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
