my mouth tastes like poor choices
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
