he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
