she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
