my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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