Screwed.edu
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize