I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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