Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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