You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
