Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
