hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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