Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
