i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize