It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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