I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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