Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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