When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
