I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
