so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
