I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize