jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
