i don't like sucking hair
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize