Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
