i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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