Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
