So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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