my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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