I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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