Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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