I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
