She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
