Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
