roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
