Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
