Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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