thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
