he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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