pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
