it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she peed on how many people?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
i now understand why vodka
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
