Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
