yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
