i always forget guys have bellybuttons
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
