Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
