You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
and eventually we just all took our pants off
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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