Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
