The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
