I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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