Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
