We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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