I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
