Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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